Feta Furburger

By Feta Furburger

That’s the name they gave me on the forums. A little inaccurate, I only sprinkled cheese on myself once, user request. Whatever, it stuck.

Bothered me at first, i’ll admit. I mean, i’ve always been told I look young. That’s part of the appeal, I know what I got. It’s all about marketing yourself, there’s a million OnlyFans accounts and amateur webcam shows going on at any time. I look kinda Scandinavian, kinda underdeveloped. It makes me money, I don’t mind the association anymore.

It would take a decade to rise to the top in any other situation. Coincide world climate disaster, business is booming. Something about a shrewd, political young woman gets people going. 

“Fucks like a thunderstorm, gets moist like the melting ice caps.”

My bio wrote itself.

I’ve gotten the most money when I recited the monologues, those impassioned speeches, while I used a microphone-shaped dildo. Community theater productions prepared me for this.

Sometimes I don’t even do any sex stuff. I put on a full costume and just… talk. Share some stern words about the failure of the last generation. I’m not sure I believe any of this stuff, there’s too much research. But the news said it was bad, so I guess it’s true.

I don’t think they’ll ever ban porn, i’m not worried about that. Even if they do, i’ll just switch to Twitch streams. “Forget” my socks during a speech session. Hell, i’ll buy a green screen, do a weather report. I’ve got soft movements, I can stamp my feet and make a wry face.

Didn’t know what I was going to do after High School to be honest. My guidance counselor always told me to go online and get active, so that’s exactly where I went. Don’t know where i’d be without him.

I feel like I should be allowed to do what I want without judgement. What’s nice is that the guys in the chat defend me a lot, I call them BurgerBoys. They get called pedophiles, they just say they care about the environment. They’re not here for the porn, they’re here for the truth. The other guys get mad and call me a libtard, then request that I should keep talking.

In come the coins.

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